I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that every one has clipped onto their belt or purse.

I can’t afford one.

So, I’m wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is ‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.’

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it ” Pumping Rust.”

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease, that’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, A good doctor.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

What are we supposed to do…write to these men?

Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

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